


Love is a Loosing Game

by Devilslock



Series: Somewhere out there... [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: AU (in the future), Angst, Dark fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-06
Updated: 2011-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:45:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devilslock/pseuds/Devilslock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being ceremoniously dumped by Adam on the last night of GNT, Tommy’s gone though a self destructive phase, excessive boozing and partying leaving him feeling despaired, hollow and used. Tommy wished he could just disappeared off the universe, wished life would be different when his wish was granted by some mysterious power where he is suddenly transported to an alternate universe where everything is RIGHT...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is a Loosing Game

**Author's Note:**

> My very first fiction, don't own the people in it, don't have a beta either, as english is not my first language, go easy on me with the grammar ya? other than that, comments are most welcomed`

The music was loud in the club, the Glamily is back in LA and had just done their last GNT show. They absolutely killed it tonight and everyone was out partying like rock stars do. They laughed and they drank, totally oblivious to the tension brewing up in the corner of their secluded VIP booth.

 

  
_“We can’t keep going on like this…we have to stop whatever it is we are doing…”_   


  
__  


Tommy remained silent, staring straight into Adam’s eyes, obviously shocked as this is totally not what he was expecting when Adam dragged him over for a private conversation.

  
__  


  
_“I’m sorry...it’s not you, it’s me…and...and... you’re straight! we’re best friends...I don’t want any of these to change… all that stuff we -”_   


  
__  


  
_“Straight huh? Really? That’s what you think after ALL that we’ve done?”_   


  
__  


  
_“Tommy, I didn’t think any of that was serious!”_   


  
__  


_“Fuck you Lambert! Fuck you! And thanks for fucking up my life!”_ Tommy yanked at Adam’s jacket lapel, uttering profanity under his gritted teeth. 

  
__  


Adam’s excuse was the lamest of the lame but that is all Tommy needed to hear. In the end, he scoffed and gave Adam a hard shove before he turned abruptly and desperately to get away. He kept his head down ignoring Adam shouting his name over the blasting music and fought back the sting behind his eyes. He gave people who managed to grab him during his escape a forced smile, he wriggled out of the grasps from the insistent ones and restrained himself from punching them in their faces out of frustration. He needs to be alone, right now, and he could already feel his heart began to shatter into a million pieces. Tommy took a deep breath and continued walking, reminding himself that Tommy Joe Ratliff is not going to crumble in public for the sake of his sanity and that minuscule bit of dignity left within him.

When Tommy finally locked himself in one of the luxurious bathroom at the corner of the VIP area, he turned the tap on and put his hands under the running water hoping to cool off the rush of blood from all the pent-up anger built up inside him. This action is proven futile when he could feel tears gently trickle down his face. He looked into the mirror and was ready to punch the shit out of his own reflection. Miraculously, his rationality managed to kick in just in time and restrained himself from causing a wreckage in the lush bathroom which THAT, will definitely draw attention from everyone, that would be the last thing Tommy wants as all he needed right at the moment is to leave this hell hole, to be left alone and unnoticed. 

Yet, the night is still way too young for him to disappear without looking suspicious to the glam troupe on this big night, where everyone is expecting him to be either drunk out of his ass; OR gets dragged away by Adam as it usually happened in most of their nights out throughout the tour. His body tensed up as images of them kissing and making out began looping in his head and the mental image finally settle on how eventually Adam managed to ‘bend his straight’ in Amsterdam, that faithful night where Tommy gave in, stopped questioning his logic and followed his heart. Adam striped him bare both mentally and physically and Tommy gave over Adam everything he had, his body and his soul. This particular thought set his body off into a heaving fit, the next thing Tommy knew was that he had knocked over the vase by the sink with the orchids as he went down on his knees, emptying everything in his stomach into the toilet bowl, praying hard to all the Gods that the music outside is loud enough to cover

up the little drama going on in there. He felt used and betrayed, he’s angry at Adam for taking everything from him than toss him away, and most importantly at his own stupidity and weakness in allowing that to happen. When Tommy is done throwing up, he sat on the floor with his back against the wall, he hid his head between his arms yet failing to block out the low lighting in the tiny room.

 

\----------

 

Tommy has lost track of how long he has locked himself in until he heard a quick knock on the door which snapped him back into the present, into reality.

  
__  


_“Hey TJ, still in there? u okay?”_ Concern obvious in Isaac’s tone

 

 _*shit!*_ Tommy cursed, taking a few deep breaths and pushed his way-too-long fringe back before he dared to speak. 

 

“ _I’m cool man, can u get me a triple JD, straight up_?” Tommy shouts over the door as he stands up, washes his hands and notices blood running down the side of his left hand.  

  
__  


  
_“Triple? Sure thing dude, and get your non-existing ass out of there, the party is just starting!”_   


  
__  


  
_“Thanks Isaac, will be out in a minute!”_   


  
__  


The following silence indicated Isaac had gone to get his drink and Tommy pressed a couple of paper towels onto his wound to stop the bleeding. Once the wound is taken cared of, he gave himself a quick look in the mirror and wipes off the black tear smudge under his eyes. He patted the back-pocket of his skinny jeans and was relieved to find the short black pencil, he made a brief attempt to salvage his make up and to cover up any traces of his mini break down. During the process he began to compose his game face, muttering, “ _The show must go on right_?” This is, afterall, the finale of glam nation, a celebration to his biggest gig to present; everyone out there are Adam’s friends as much as his too and Tommy is not going to let the little *incident* between Adam and him to spoil his *supposedly* happiest night. At the end of the day, he’d still have certain Mr. Jack Daniel at his back, whom, has been his best friend since forever and would never, ever judge nor leave Tommy alone. 

Isaac was waiting by the door when Tommy emerges from the bathroom with his requested drink in hand. 

 

 _“Something wrong? Drunk already? Or were you crying in there like Sasha did earlier in the dressing room?”_ Isaac teased.

  
__  


_“Nah i’m alright, just knocked over a fucking vase and cut myself, it fuckin’ hurts man!”_ Tommy flashed the back of his hand and points towards the remaining fragments on the bathroom floor. “ _Need to tell the staff about that,_ _where’s my drink?”_

  
__  


_“Holy shit! You need a bandage or something? It looks deep man!”_ Isaac passed Tommy’s drink over to his good hand and grab hold of the other one.

 

“ _Thanks man! It’s fine, it’s just a little cut”_ and he eases out his hand from Isaac’s grip.

  
__  


_“If you say so dude.”_ Uncertainty clear in his voice. “ _Oh and Monte’s looking for you, we’re doing this band round and he’s bought us all this really horrible purple cocktail, God knows what’s in there, can you even drink things that’s purple in color? I swear it looks lethal enough to-”_

  
__  


Something stopped Tommy dead on his tracks, he downed his drink in one gulp and changed his route to Monte at the bar by-passing the dance floor in between them.  

  
__  


  
_“Whoa-h, thirsty much?”_   


  
__  


Isaac look at Tommy’s back wide eyed and turned to see what had caused Tommy’s sudden change in behavior. He spotted Adam kissing a small brunette in the middle of the dance floor, they were dancing and grinding against each other clearly enjoying themselves. The smaller guy is tiny and very pretty, totally Adam’s type. He had the biggest smirk Isaac’s ever seen plastered all across his face, obviously smug with the attention he’d drawn from the glam star and everyone else around them.

 

  
_“What the - ?! SHIT! TJ?”_   


 

By the time Isaac managed to catch up Tommy by the bar, he’d already sat himself next to Monte ordered and downed his second triple JD and had asked for a third. Although everyone in the glam troupe had some sort of ideas on the supposed ‘relationship’ between Adam and Tommy, it never went official as neither of them admit or deny anything, they respected their privacy and kept their noses out. Isaac is the only one who knew and had kept quiet all these time, despite he’s only joined the Glamily three months ago. He and Tommy got on straight away with their similar age, music taste and personality. They spent many nights in their shared hotel room talking, he knew about Tommy’s confusion and struggle and how much it took for Tommy to finally turn his back to everything he was and gave his all to the rock star. 

 

“ _Easy dude...your hand…”_ Isaac whispered in Tommy’s ear and took both his just topped up tumbler and the purple drink away from his tightened grip.

 

Tommy’s hand got caught with the edge of a drink coaster during their exchange and the red oozing from Tommy’s hand immediately drew attention from Monte, who passed over a napkin from the bar and quirked a concerned eyebrow at the duo. Isaac shook his head gently when Tommy reached over and grabbed both his drink back, sipping at the spirit slowly this time before dapping at his wound with the napkin.

 

 _“So, what’s in this purple thing Isaac’s been banging on about?”_ Tommy turns towards Monte attempting to be his ‘usual self’ and brushed off Isaac’s concerned look with a gentle squeeze on his shoulder with his good hand.

 

\----------

 

Tommy’s jester mask had remained intact for the rest of the night, by the end, he had lost count on the number of drinks he’d had and the last thing he could remember from the night, (or the morning?) was being hauled out of the club and back upstairs to the hotel room him and Isaac shared for the last night. He could vaguely made out a remix of Fever being played at the dance floor as they were leaving and snorted at himself. 

 

* _Fan-fucking-tastic! *_

 

\-----------

  
_For you I was a flame_   


  
_Love is a losing game_   


  
_Five story fire as you came_   


  
_Love is a losing game_   


  
__  


  
_One I wish I never played_   


  
_Oh what a mess we made_   


  
_And now the final frame_   


  
_Love is a losing game_   


  
__  


  
_Played out by the band_   


  
_Love is a losing hand_   


  
_More than I could stand_   


  
_Love is a losing hand_   


  
__  


  
_Self professed... profound_   


  
_Till the chips were down_   


  
_...know you're a gambling man_   


  
_Love is a losing hand_   


  
__  


  
_Though I'd bet on blind_   


  
_Love is a faith resign_   


  
_Memories mar my mind_   


  
_Love is a faith resign_   


  
__  


  
_Over futile odds_   


  
_And laughed at by the gods_   


  
_And now the final frame_   


_Love is a losing game_  

 

\- Amy Winehouse

  
_tbc..._   


  
  
_  
_   
  



End file.
